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«أَقُولُ إِنَّ ذَلكَ البَحثَ عَنِ اللهِ لَمْ يَكُنْ بالعَقلِ إِنَّما كَانَ بالشُّعُور؛ لأَنَّ هَذا البَحثَ لَم يَنْشأْ عَن تَسلسُلِ الأَفكَارِ عِنْدي، وَإِنَّما نَبَعَ مِنَ القَلب، ولَقَدْ كَانَ شُعُورًا بالخَوفِ واليُتمِ والعُزلَةِ فِي بَلدٍ غَرِيب، وَأَملًا فِي العَونِ مِن جِهَةٍ مَا.» بَعدَ أَنْ قَارَبَ الخَمسِينَ مِن عُمُرِه، وَقَدْ بَلَغَ مَا بَلَغهُ مِنَ الشُّهرةِ بَعدَ مَا أَلَّفَهُ فِي الأَدبِ الرُّوسِيِّ حتَّى اعتُبِرَ مِن مُجدِّدِيه، بَدأَ «تولستوي» يُعِيدُ التَّفكِيرَ فِي الأَسئِلةِ التِي طَرَحَها عَقلُهُ مُنذُ زَمنٍ طَوِيل: عَنِ اللهِ وَعَن ماهِيَّتِهِ والإِيمانِ والحَيَاة، وكَادَتْ هَذِه الأَسئِلةُ تُجهِزُ عَلَيهِ حتَّى فَكَّرَ فِي الانْتِحَار، لكِنَّهُ انكَبَّ لِلبَحثِ عَن إِجابَةٍ لهَا، لِيَبدأَ رِحلَتَهُ لِلبَحثِ وَرَاءَ الحَقِيقَة؛ حَقِيقةِ وُجُودِهِ فِي هَذَا العَالَم؛ فَقَرَأَ فِي الفَلسَفةِ وفِي الأَديَان، وَتَجرَّدَ مِن كُلِّ مَا يَعلَقُ فِي ذِهْنِهِ مِنَ الدِّينِ المَسِيحِيِّ الذِي تَعَلَّمه فِي صِغَرِه، وثَارَ عَلَى طَبَقةِ النُّبَلاءِ والأَغنِياءِ التِي هُو مِنهَا، واعتَرَفَ بِكُلِّ مَا أتَاهُ مِن آثَامٍ ومَا نَالَهُ مِن مَتَاعِ الدُّنيا ومَا اقتَرفَتْهُ يَدَاه؛ ليُعِيدَ النَّظَرَ فِي عَقِيدَتِهِ وفِي الإِنجِيل. وبِرُؤيةٍ أَدَبِيةٍ فَلسَفِيةٍ، سَجَّلَ «تولستوي» كُلَّ هَذا فِي اعتِرَافاتِهِ التِي نَقَلَها لنَا بحِرفِيَّةٍ ودِقَّةٍ الأُستَاذُ محمود محمود.
اشترك الان في النشرة الاٍخبارية و ترقب استقبال افضل عروضنا علي بريدك الاٍلكتروني
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